I want my money AND my life back OR things said after a terrible movie.

Yes...I moved and no, I don't want to talk about it. It was that bad.

I told the Capt. (formerly known as The Man. If you have heard the HIDDEN TRACK on the Killers latest album "Sawdust" you will know why he is Captain.) that I was so SAD about the movies that were coming out this year. What a bunch of Stinky Turds that people are going to flock to the movies SPEND 8-10 dollars of their low economy earnings on. No amount of warning is going to stop them. If by posting this I detour just one of you from wasting your life and money on it will have been worth it.

Mamma Mia comes out July 18th. Smart move for them if you ask me...nothing beats the air conditioning of a movie theater. You know, if I wanted to sit for two hours listening to Abba and watching a quirky showing of misunderstandings, I would go with my gay men army to any club. I own two copies of Abba Gold, and don't mind and occasional Fernando or Gimme gimme gimme. I do however, mind the thought of Meryl Streep sleeping with 3 men, or any man in general.

Hancock arriving in theaters July 4th. I think I won't see it because it sounds really dirty, and can not be bothered to come up with something to say about it...its just that bad.

Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants hits August 8th. (my sister loves the books and will be really sad about this) So this one time my friend comes to me and tell me she takes her mom for mothers day to this movie...it was so bad that her MOTHER takes a call 15-20 minutes into the movie leaving my friend to fend for herself. A few months a go I am flipping through the channels, packing my house and I watch for a bit and realized what it was. I called my friend and made fun of her. She paid 14 dollars for 2 tickets, 5 dollars for popcorn and 6 dollars for cokes. $25 dollars (priceless) to see what is forever known as "The Damn Pants" movie. I sat watching this for minutes and thought "who writes this shit"?? I got off easy, I learned my lesson for free. My friend was did not get off so cheap. I know from experience when I say "Beware of The Pants".

Sex and the City opens May 30th. Women all over the country have been counting down the days until Carrie Bradshaw's Prada handbag and her Manolo Blahnik shoes( a word the few knew how to pronounce before she whined about them)shuffle their way into the summer. "Get Carried Away" my ass. I have caught an episode or two of this TV show on TBS. I will tell you that I find NOTHING funny about 4 aging rich bitches talking about who they have "done" AND "how they like it"in EVERY scene. Let's be honest, the only difference between watching this show and the Golden Girls is that the SATC women Don't wear as much Gold Leme', and they LOOK younger... but are they REALLY? Nobody wants to hear Bea Aurther talk about sex, The same goes to YOU Cynthia Nixon. I think this movie should have been released during the Halloween season. It would have been a timeless Horror movie along with Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street, and the Banger Sisters.