Soon our duo will become three

I have made it through the Holidays in one peice, actually it looks like two peices. I am so close to actually having this baby I feel like an old pro. We have done the regular things that people do when they are having their first baby, we have been shopping for diapers. I made the Man take a birthing class, where he had to sit through several videos of women in Labor just so he knows what he is getting into. I have made the man show up to a few Doctors appointments, especially the one where he found out that barbies are in his near future. I have even woken him up in the middle of the night to roll me over. HEY being preggers is not easy when you are trying to roll over in bed. Now seeing that we are at a 4-5 weeks count down, here are things that I have learned about being great with monkey in Utah county.


1) Your belly is out there for EVERYone to touch.
It's interesting, I had no idea that when your belly gets to a certing GIRTH, people feel that they have the right to touch it, shake it, or pound on it. I wish there was some snappy remark I could come up with when people start feeling the belly up. I am somethimes the best at one liners, but this is a conversation stopper.


2) Everybody has a horror story.
You would think that there wouldn't be so many women willing to have children in this world with all of the terrible things that women have told me about giving birth to them. You know what? Telling me these stories is NOT going to stop me from hatching, and further more...why would they tell me such things when there is CLEARLY no going back at this point?? Trust me I have tried, but I have been told that really its too late and I am just going to have to do it.

3) Natual is the way to go.
This is such a trendy thing right now, no drugs when you are in labor. The big thing to get you through this painful experience is Hypno Birthing...Its suppose to keep you in a focused, relaxed situation so when you have the baby you are alert enough to become instant mother. Uh guess what? No. You know I realize that women use to do it all the time, but God put drugs on this earth, so I can take advanage of it. I have insisted that the second I walk into the Hospital, they hook me up to the drugs and just KEEP EM COMMIN'.

4) All advice is the best advice.
I realize that this is my first. I realize that this is my husbands first. I realize that we also have big signs strapped to our backs stateing that we need all the advice we can get. Thats right we were silly in the first place waiting until we were about 30 to get married, so that stands to reason we need to be told all the ways to handle a baby. Look, its great that people are freely telling me how to raise a baby, but if you have just one...and ONLY ONE, how likely is it I am going to take your advice over say someone who has...well 10. Trust me there are people out there with 10 kids, I have met them and see them often. Besides I was a first baby, the eldest of 4 kids and you know what my mom says about that? "You were the Guinea Pig...tehe" I figure that is what the first baby is, and that is what they will be.


5) Oh! Your Pregnant?
Oh! you just thought I was fat? There is no way that they are going to get out of this without me saying something. I CLEARLY look like I am about to pop any second now. Really there is no reason for ANYBODY to NOT know. SERIOUSLY if people are rubbing the belly for luck and wishing on my belly...saying this is not acceptable. My response is usually "no, duh...i am just fat for the hell of it". Oh and for the record, walking into a room eyeballing me and yelling "whoa, when are due, your Huge" that doesn't make me like you.

This is what I am currently hearing, or feeling. The last month has been really interesting, I have been really kind about most of it. I kind of wonder what ever happened to people learning "tact". Apparently its dead in Utah county. There are more, but for this post...that is all I am going to say. I should really take off now, since the baby has found a few major organs and insists on pounding on them.