Is you is or Is you Ain't

I know I promised you another rant...but before I get to that this question needs to be asked. Why do rich men think they are funny? My boss is STINKING rich, grew up that way apparently, and it looks like he has been a social person. So why hasn't he developed a sense of humor that doesn't make him sound like he was homes schooled? Seriously I hear some of the rich crap that spews from his mouth and just look around to everybody else to see if they are laughing. For 2 seconds, there is a something that sounds like crickets and then just like a cartoon everybody starts giving their best "work" laugh( the laugh that you use at work that makes you sound like you really thought whatever was said was funny, even when you really didn't get it at all) and giving him the "hey good one". Don't HUMOR him!! Tell him he isn't funny. Hell, if the man didn't sign my checks I would tell him "I didn't get it! Either did anybody else! YOU ARE ABOUT AS SOCIALLY RETARDED AS SOMEBODY HOME SCHOOLED!!! DON'T TELL ANY MORE JOKES!!!" with that I move on to the next subject.
A few years ago, I had a roommate talk me into seeing a movie sequal to the likes of a movie I had supressed memories of for a reason. Now we as THIS question...at what point does an actor say to himself "Ya' know...I had a hit movie at one time with fabulous catch phrases, I know I can do it again". If you are an actor, and this thought crosses your mind please take whatever you have left in your savings and get a real job. If this actor who WROTE the movie would have thought of this...I wouldn't DEMAND my money AND my life back. Why do they now insist on showing it on TV (that I am paying for and getting rapped) for my VIEWING pleasure! Cocidile Dundee in LA! Wow, how is that for a title. Let me tell you why this Movie was not a good idea 1) it's not the 80's. It was 2002 when this came out, so more then a decade later you decide to crawl out from under your rock and write another movie. Not a GOOD movie but a Sequal. Wait it gets better, it's a SEQUAL to the SEQUAL. But think this...we are a little wiser to your catch phrases now, and not so turned on by your backward ways. It's not funny when you say G'Day mate, and I am not amused when I see you wrestling alligators. The people I really need to get after are the OTHER actors that went along with this movie. WHY WHY WHY?? Were you so desperate for a job you looked and this poorly written script and said to your self "WOW who says this stuff?? Oh thats right Cocidile Dundee does, well that is all the convincing I need, I'm in! When do we get paid?" whew.
2) WHO WRITES THIS CRAP!!! I mean I can understand this writing in the 80's. Hello? did we SEE what we were wearing then? leotards with belts...that is what we were wearing in the 80's. I think since the 80's there has been MAJOR progression in society...think about it. Internet, Everything has gone to the computers, Big gulps are a heafty 64 oz. I think as a society we are not easily fooled with silly phrases. With movies we want more of a good story, or plot. The plot is soooooo the funniest! This MOVIE company is making stinky movies so wifey-pooh Dundee goes to investigate, and finds out they are stealing paintings and selling them. OH NO!!! It sounded like this Scooby Doo episode I saw once, MORE then once. I was half waiting for the "Bad Guys" at the end of this movie say "We would have gotten away with it, if it wasn't for this pesky Alligater Bastard his lame ass character actor friend, and his botoxed bitch".
I plea, nah, BEG for BAD ACTORS....Please please please...stop making these bad movies. They are hurting not only you, but they are going to make me want to put you to death.
THE END

I See You Have Played Knifey Spoony Before...

At what point does American come together as one to focus on one thing that truly represents that decade. I think I have uncovered the 80's version of America at that time. Drum roll please... Cocidile Dundee. I don't think I truly understood what this movie ment to America when it was released in all of it's HUMBLE glory in 1986. I was reminded of it last night again. It's been years, I mean YEARS since I last saw this turd of a film about a hillbilly bass ackwards hunter in the Outback that wrestles Alligators. Do you see anything wrong with this picture? 1) if you were a Hillbilly you wouldn't be that bronzed, and "Good looking" with a 50 Dollar haircut (and a writer of the movie) and 2) you wouldn't be wrestling anything. You would be killing it, because you were hungry, you naggy wife and 13 children need you to bring the dead item home for the nightly vittles...then you go abouts your nightly routine of milking hogs in the yard or something of some sort. So a "Good Looking" news reporter is not going to pluck you from your Backward ways, and put you up in her Penthouse Suite...and Like ANYBODY who writes for a news paper is going to be paid enough for something that has Maid Service, A Bum washer, and an olympic size bath tub. The next thing about this classic that made it truly the classic that it is was the the catch phrases that were on the lips of everybody that year. "G'Day Mate" I don't know about you but when I spoke those truly unforgetable words I too, thought I was an aussie outback's man. The next most popular phrase..."That's not a knife. Now THAT'S a knife." I wipe a tear with LAUGHTER! who would stand up to a mugger like that? Not I, for again that would be another occassion in which I piddle my pants. It makes me wonder how many people packed knifes of Mick Dundee's size around the big apple that year to ward off attackers...only to yet have their wallet STILL stolen from them? As you can see this 80's classic was Robbed, I tell ya ROBBED of all the essential academy awards the year it was released. For a film with this much TRUTH and INSIGHT should never be over looked!!! P.S. That was dripping with sarcasim. Stay tuned for next weeks rant...Sequals, when should you and when shouldn't you. Until next time...same bat time, same bat channel.