The Capt. and I look Swell

It had been a long while since I had pictures taken of me in which I was not hiding because it was a photo and I was not ready for it. More like in the last several years its hard to find a picture of me NOT picking my nose. I think I do that because I look terrible AND maybe the camera won't go off with me in the the frame. My Sister in Law BRIDGET takes amazing pictures, even just the few candids she took of my little Monkey are so beautiful. Bridget was also the fabulous one and only who took the beautiful photos of an impossible 20month old in her Halloween costume...Bridget was the only person I knew who would take family photos the way I wanted them. I called her up told her what we were wearing and she found a place to go right away that would complete the look. These were the first pictures that have been taken of my and The Capt. since our engagement photos. Since it was only a few short years since we were married...it still feels like a lifetime ago. We have since then added one more to our Duo who looks more like her daddy then her mommy. 2 weeks after these photos were taken, we(I) got the shocking(for the Capt. it was Exciting) news that we were great with a little Duckie. Next years family portraits will be the Fab 4 of us!

Deny Deny Deny

I had a friend tell me that someday she wants to have the glamorous life of a Stay At Home Wife. Awesome! My life is Fabulous, there is nothing better then sitting around watching stories, couch inspecting , and eating my dainty delectable chocolates. How I want to go back to those days... Its been pretty crazy and interesting the last several months. I had guests, babysitting, road shows, choir singing(not for me but for the Youth in the area) and yadda yadda yadda. In the middle of all of this, I stopped to find out why I was so crabby and not my usual relaxed self. Then... there it was. The brightest double pink lines that report the last thing on my mind.... Positive. Preggers. So just be prepared for more crafty-ass, and other insane antics.

Happy Hippy Homemaker Strikes again!

I don't know what came over me.The lack of plot to my stories, and me flipping through the channels and landing on the Project Runway reruns. I got my idea for the best gift for my daughters birfday.

One year for Christmas my dear dear Capt. bought me a skirt. Not just ANY SKIRT...but a 1950 throw back Pink circle skirt n petticoat. I LOVE IT and wear it on a regular basis. My youngin need something just as special forced upon her, so I decided the thing to do was make her a Pink circle skirt as well. Seeing how I never sew, and rarely try(much like cooking) I figured...what the hell? I purchased the needed thread, material, and pattern. The pattern I used was one that I could find in the Halloween Costume section of the patten books. This pattern also required the complexity of a zipper. Since a 2 year old is hard enough to get dressed...a zipper was not something I was willing to mess around with so I modified the pattern- a little. This is how it was done!

2 Yards of material, folded in half and the necessary parts of the pattern...I used a combination of both skirts (a shorter and a longer) because size 2T was not available. Cutting 2 of the patters I pinned them together to measure to my daughter. I then cut the pattern section for the waist band. This was going to be where I was going to loop elastic through. I sewed up both sides of the skirt and secured the waist band to the top...looped the elastic through and VOI LA !!! Circle skirt! Seriously it took me all of two hours from begining to end! I am in the process of creating a petticoat of some sort. When I am finished ya'll will hear about it.

In the mean time take a look in awe ladies n ladies! This is what circle skirts in the family looks like!!

In Memory of...

I would like to dedicate this entry to the memory of something that I have tended to faithfully for days. Through the good times and the bad times, through the thick and thin...I thought "This year will be the year." After days of denial, I have come to the conclusion that I killed another one. Our Christmas Bush, gave us a little more then three weeks of love, and we were happy to have him in our home. After convincing myself that this year would be different, and there were several new sprouts atop of this sweet smelling bush, It was drying up. There was not saving it now. I broke the news to Joseph that I killed another one, but I came closer to keeping it alive a helluva lot longer then the previous years. There was sun, and water, but no room for growth. There is always next year.

Since it was the New Years It was time for those pesky New Years Resolutions...which made me think of why I was going to really need to to that any way. Of course it's the usual stuff, loose my ass, fit into skinny jeans and learn to cook. But Seeing how my diet always starts Monday because my love and desire for those tasty little Chocolates, and couch lounging. My Stories have gotten stale the last little bit so I did decide to do something a little different. I have turned yet again to John Hughs to show me the ways of Suburban life. I thought that since I live in a Suburban-esqu area I might benefit. Sure Breakfast Club, and Pretty in Pink was full of High School lessons with the class of the kids and how they come into their own. Lessons we all learned then, but what about us now? I have noticed that his other fine features have gone unnoticed, and several missed his other lessons from things like Plains, Trains, and Automobiles...or the Vacations with the Grizwalds. ( I refuse to bring up Home Alone, and Cury Sue). So here are a few things that I have resoluted with a help from John Hughs

1) When turning 16, don't have hurt feelings that your family forgot. I mean really what would you rather have Dreamy Jake Ryan bake you a Cake and kiss you over it...or have your family say happy birthday. Besides, when people(parents) forget your birthday the Belated gifts are much bigger there for sweeter.

2) I will not be quick to judge others...It doesn't matter if they are a Princess, the Athlete, the Brain, the Basket Case, or the Criminal...er or the Mommy who likes to lounge about watching her stories. Oh and there is nothing wrong with the song "(Don't You) Forget About Me". It doesn't matter who sings it.

3) Taking a day off once in a while and making the best of it is ALWAYS a good idea. It doesn't mater if Mr. Rooney is after you. He'll get his in the end anyway.

4) When taking a Vacation across country in a station wagon...I should just get there ASAP, and not stop to see every site along the way. In the end there will be no dead aunts, no crazy relatives, no mis-adventures...you know don't go across country in station wagon, take a plane. You know what? Don't take that kind of a Vacation...you know, the kind with a family. Just take your own vacation, maybe one with out the Capt. and the Monkey kiddo...

4) Oingo Boingo sings really good songs, like Weird Science. So good in fact, that I am going to turn them on, and listen to them right now.


This is what happens when you have a John Hugh's Marathon, and a stay at home mommy. You get a New Years post about the 80's and dieting. Happy New Years

Music is my Imaginary Friend.

I made a comment the other day in Male company about how a meeting for something or other wouldn't work for me during the day, because it interfered with my "stories". While inspecting my couch last week I got involved with a "story" that came on at the end of a soccer game. I am not sure as to what is really going on, because it's all in Spanish. All I know this overly made up lady is pissed about something, and the dude just sits and takes it...wiener. ANYWAY, because I am impatient, I flip from show to show during the commercials. I think that it's gotten bad recently since I saw this TERRIBLE commercial involving jeans and one of the best songs in the world. Exhibit A

This is a Youtube Video of the lamest commercial of two drunkards and in the back ground is Isobel Campell's sweet voice from the album Ballad of Broken Seas. It made me mad that they tainted such a sweet song with the white trashness . I thought to myself, how interesting that they used the EXACT song that was listening to in the car not more then two hours ago. Soon afterwards... I heard this little ditty.

Exhibit B


Nothing to me is more comedy gold then Monkeys and Cavemen so I giggled upon seeing this commercial, but to my surprise...I started singing along. Wha Wha Wha??? How did I know this song? Well this was from the much anticipated sophomore album of The Sounds. In my mommy-less days I bought this album as a birthday gift to myself...because that was the day it came out. I was much less disappointed with the commercial, but at this point what was ANOTHER happy coincidence started to make me wonder. I became a bit more freaked out with the following spin...

Exhibit C

This band, 1990's was a lucky find. I enjoyed this song so much that I put it on my Ipod. My first born loved it so much that she stole my Ipod and listened to it over and over again. This song inspired this post. How who ever is in charge of finding music for these Adverts MUST be raiding my sweet collection of random songs of little know artist and my sacred collection of CD's. At first it was kind of interesting but now it's turning personal. SOMEBODY is using MY music to sell some poor schmo cheep shoes and car insurance!

Exhibit D

Not that you would know what this was but THIS is a Jaguar commercial with the song from a band called the Dimond Knights. I think I am making my point. I think that there is some music that screams "Oh I am ready to sell cheap crap to some sucker." That song is Smash Mouth's "All Star".


I plead with the people who are rapping my CD collection for these crappy advertisements...Please leave my music alone. I love each song almost as much as I love my swear words or middle finger. For those of you who are interested in these songs listed here, or other songs that are used to sell you things see my play list.

I Was Wrong To Doubt, That I Could Get Along Without.

So there I was, stretched across my couch...Watching Tim Gunn's Guide to Style, and What Not To Wear. I was torn between my love of Tim Gunn's sensitivity twards the fashionably challeged, and Nick Arrojo the Perma hair guru that I love.( those of you who watch one or both get what I am saying) my phone rang interrupting my lounging about. I had to put down my remote, my sparkling apple cider, my chocolates, and brushed the crumbs from my chest.
"A yello??" I drawled
"Why a big Yello to You" That was Macheli...A fabulous friend of mine. We have known each other for years, and use to practice writing our first name attached to names of Manly's we wished to be married to. She constantly wrote "Mrs. Macheli Law-Mrs. R. Jude Law" While I was busy deciding on "Mrs. N John Cusack" or "Mrs. Nat. Jones-Cusack". ANYWAY she was giving me a surprise call this Friday with a purpose...
"So I have two free tickets given to me to go to this concert tomorrow and the ONLY person I can think about going with" HOW FLATTERING!!! I didn't even bother to ask what concert because I had been home all week with no place to get purtied up for.
"Well hold on...it's the New Kids On The Block reunion concert." and for a brief moment, everything came to a stop. The Same NKOTB that were my Nemesis...the ones who sang terrible songs about dating a 13 year old girls. I , on the other hand, listened to bands who were more concerned about a party in a 'Love Shack' and the love of the girl who makes someone think that this crap hole we live in feels 'Just Like Heaven'. It haunted me for years that when we talk of the fabulous things of our youth, NKOTB always came up. The others fondness of sleeping NKOTB's bed sheets helped them drift off to a dream land where the group of 5 sang "the Right Stuff"...and "Cover Girl". GERRRRRR!!!! When the 5 went away I let out a WHEW and happily picked up pieces...or I gave the girls who had loved them mix tapes filled with the Cure, Siouxsie and the Banshees, Smashing Pumpkins and Nirvana.

When I begin to breath again I muttered "Hells yes I want to go!"

We were on the floor in the middle of the arena. I disco'ed to the fantastic Lady Ga Ga(whose album I have owned for months thanks to the Capt. and his computer nerdness.) and when I was adequately warmed up, I was thrown back to 1989! With their "Oh Oh Oh-The Right Stuff" Apparently,as I was told, nothing had changed from 1990...My friend said her 10 year self was really impressed that them being "40 something" could still do their moves, AND move with out showing really how out of shape they were. In the middle of the show, Us being on an isle, were shoved back into our seats so they could set up a fence. A FENCE. Seeing how I know the venue like the back of my hand(I worked for the company for a few years when I started my blog) I know that they don't put up a fence around the crowd unless...I yelled for Macheli to get her camera out and get ready. Half way through the show, there they were. 4-5 feet from us dancing the the show away. I took stock of my surroundings when this photo was taken. Looking around, I saw women standing on chairs reaching with all their might. I heard screaming, crying and laughing. The laughing mostly me. I have never seen so many women throwing themselves at 5 men in my life. It was best said in a text message sent to their stage most of them "ain't Jail Bait Now." I suddenly found myself caught up in the moment as these 5 men raced by us towards the stage. I stuckout my hand to shake bad boy Donnie's and yelled "I Loved you in Sixth Sense" It was the only real thing I remember of him since I was never really a fan. Macheli being a bigger fan...touched all 5 men. It was AMAZING! Just for the extra Razzle Dazzle to my story take a look at who was sitting behind us at the show(he was sitting near the mixing board ) Now I know that its a bit fuzzy but there was so much going on...YES!!! The American Idol himself, DAVID ARCHULETTA. They looked like they were having a good time. It made me wonder though...was he even born in 1989 to know anything about these dudes?? I am thinking no, and I am OLD. I am thinking this...If I can learn to enjoy NKOTB in a few short hours and have the time of my life, then maybe the fondness of the 80's that is wrapped up in Jen and the Holograms, G.I Joe and New Kids on The Block isn't bad after all.

Gonna take your momma out all night...Further Adventures of Homemakers

It's getting more interesting around here since I am looking for entertainment in my routine. I have started Yoga every morning for 25 straight minutes. I found it sad when I run, my ass moves in the opposite direction of my legs. I thought it was time to do something about it. That shook things up so I thought I would try something else...Cooking. As my previous post, I tried to recreate the dish I am missing from a Greek place that closed its doors. So between the laundry, the cleaning and all that I do to keep busy , I decided to get Crafty-Ass and pull out all the stops for Halloween. I did it Cheap-o AND with my own Creativity! It was easy and fun fun fun. I just had to manage my time to do it around when The Monkey and the Capt. wasn't around, which was mainly after bedtimes and traveling out of town.

I first brainstormed. Since there was always time for the princess and the fairies...I wanted to do something else. I was watching some bollywood with a friend and thought it would be awesome if we could do something like that for Elise. My friend was moving and had YARDS of different fabric and told me to sort through it and take what I wanted. I found this beautiful Blue with a gold Pattern weaved through it....and some Blue VERY thin material, the kind that makes you say OOoooh shiney! There was an extra trip to Hancock's Fabric for a sequence edging. I came home and took inventory on what Elise had(Turtle necks, stretch pants, tights) so that it would add to her costume. I was ready!

Here I was sitting around...at my sewing machine thinking "where do I start". Most of the time people have a pattern to go off of with directions, and well...I didn't. So that is why I sat for a bit. My little Monkey is tall and skinny...and fast. So rather then take a measuring tape to her...I decided measuring the length of the skirt was going to be measured to the length of her cute little stretch pants that one of her grand parents gave to her. I cut the light blue fabric Length wise in half. With the help of Google, I found out how to wrap a Sari and wrapped the material around the pants as IF i was wrapping a sari around my daughter. I then sewed the material wrapped around the pants, so that I would come untucked whilest she was Tricks or Treating. I hemmed the bottom of the material to make it look a little cleaner. The rest of the wrapping is left for when she wears it. Just one or two safety pins are needed for the shoulder. TADA!!! your Sari...

I then took the shiny material and folded, and sewed the raw edges. That shiny material sucked eggs to work with, because it came unraveled if you looked at it wrong...or cut it, or sewed it wrong. The Sequenced around the edge was glued with Fabric jewel glue(another Crafty Ass project for a later review) and then SEWED on. This makes the Bollywood veil. I marked where I wanted the veil to sit...then had sewed a hair comb so that it wouldn't slip off her head. See? The necklace was giving to me with a set of earing...that were broken. I looped and earing through the sequence to give it that extra razzel dazzel. I chose to glue a little something something (sequence over the eyes).

When I look at these I think....not bad for a couch dwelling, Bon Bon eating, story watching Happy Hippy Homemaker.